Apology To Abused Missionary Kids Has Profound Effect
 

Reprinted with Permission from Faith Today

An apology from the Canadian leader of the Christian and Missionary Alliance (C&MA) to adults who were once abused at a school for missionary children has had a profound and beneficial effect.

The apology, spoken by Bert McBride, chairman of the Canadian board of directors of the C&MA, was simple: "Please forgive our sins against you!"

McBride and his counterpart from the United States spoke the healing words at a long-anticipated retreat for C&MA leaders and Mamou alumni, held in Norcross, Georgia May 14-16, 1999. McBride addressed his apologies and a commitment to do what is right to all those involved.

That apology was "a turning point" bringing "a tremendous leap of healing ... an immense amount of cleansing," said Bob Neudorf of Regina, Sask., an alumnus of the Mamou Alliance Academy.

His apology "reached our pain, our hearts and our souls," said another Canadian Mamou alumna, Beverly Shellrude Thompson of Burlington, Ont.

McBride acknowledged that the initial revelations of abuse were not well received, "and as a consequence, the abuse was compounded." He asked for God's mercy on an organization that, while proclaiming the gospel to those who have never heard, also interfered with little children's capacity to receive the love of God. He spoke of shame, deep regret, and sincere repentance. His words hit home.

Mamou Academy in the Republic of Guinea in western Africa received missionary children from families working with the Christian and Missionary Alliance, Gospel Missionary Union and other missionary agencies from the 1920s to 1971.

Mamou was set in an idyllic mountain site, whose peaceful appearance would hide the turmoil and pain experienced on the inside until many years later.

It is that common bond of suffering that brought 80 alumni, 50 family members and 20 facilitators - pastors, counselors and C&MA staff - together for the retreat. The alumni came with stories of psychological torment as well as physical and sexual abuse they suffered during their years at the missionary school. Most of their allegations have been examined and documented by an Independent Commission of Inquiry (ICI). The retreat was not a court case, but a time of reconciliation and healing.

Throughout the time together "a lot of tears were shed," according to Robert Fetherlin, vice-president for international ministries of the Alliance. During the weekend the ICI made a presentation; representatives of the Canadian and American sides of the denomination asked for forgiveness; and people shared their stories.

That sharing was the heart of the retreat. Judith Milne of C&MA Canada, who had read the 95-page ICI report, said it was a completely different experience to meet the people face to face. The human toll today in broken marriages, shipwrecked faith and self-destructive behavior is impossible to measure. But those stories are of real people with real families and now, it must be acknowledged, real pasts.

It became evident during the weekend that each person is in a different stage of dealing with that past. Certain former students, including Shellrude Thompson and Neudorf, confronted the church several years ago. They have pushed for accountability. They have made recommendations. They have battled their own demons. Now they have accepted the apology. Shellrude Thompson says that for her it is time to move on.

Others went to the retreat having never spoken of the pain, never named their treatment as being abuse. Hearing the frank and detailed accounts of classmates was perhaps the first incision in a personal surgery that is only beginning.

For the parents and spouses present, the stories are horrifying and revealing. After 20 years of marriage, one man said, he finally understands his wife. She bears physical scars on her arms; now they both understand a little better the psychological scars.
Hazel Neudorf, mother of Bob Neudorf and four daughters who lived at Mamou, says she nursed a secret hope that she would wake up and discover it wasn't true. At the retreat, any lingering illusions were shattered. She had unwittingly placed her children in danger while she was sincerely working for the cause of the gospel.

All involved agree that one weekend cannot bring complete healing and closure. But, as Fetherlin says, together they took a "significant step forward."

"I am very grateful to the Alliance for being willing to look at these issues.... No other organization has been willing to do this," added a weary but satisfied Shellrude Thompson. Milne speaks for staff and students when she says, "We're moving towards healing. We must keep the momentum going."

By: Marg Brouillette

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