Abraham and Isaac Revisited

Dear Ann:
 
Abraham was directed by God to tie up his beloved only son Isaac, place him on an altar, and plunge a knife into him in sacrifice to the Holy One. Abraham struggled and suffered with this idea, but eventually demonstrated his willingness to follow through and obey. But, in that dark and frightening moment when it seemed the child's life was over, an angel was sent with a new message: DON'T DO IT. Do not harm that baby.
For too many of us, it seems our angels just never showed up. By golly, it's been difficult walking around with these invisible knives sticking out of us, year after year.

Nan

Hi Nan,
Howard and I were delighted to hear from you today. As a parent, I have had to revisit the Abraham story often, as well as the whole idea of sacrifice. One thing I feel sure of is that a God of love never asked Abraham to sacrifice Isaac. I remember being taught that Abraham was influenced by the "pagan" culture around him that sacrificed children. When I was a young missionary I firmly believed that we should sacrifice and that God would protect our children. Of course I now know that that is not true. Our children were not protected. They were abused at mission boarding school but in addition to that it was WRONG of us to send our six year old children off to be reared by someone else in an institution. This reality still feels like the "invisible knives sticking in us" also!

If we choose to believe this version of the Abraham story, then perhaps the "angel" was available to protect Isaac because Abraham was influenced by the "pagan" culture. We (missionaries) were influenced by our missionary culture and no angel appeared to say "no." Indeed, we were praised for being obedient if we could send our children away without a tear. How diabolical!!

In Donald Capp's book, The Child's Song: The Religious Abuse of Children (Westminster, John Knox Press, 1995), Capp wrote about Abraham and Isaac in the chapter "Abraham and Isaac: The Sacrificial Impulse". Capp starts the chapter with "Throughout human history, children have been used, against their will, in adults' attempt to satisfy or placate their gods." He adds, "Although Christianity has dissociated itself from actual rites of child sacrifice, it has not denounced the theory of sacrifice." It is a very strong chapter. He adds that the Abraham and Isaac story is among the best-known stories in the Bible and that through the ages, Christians have applied it to their own lives. He discusses various scenarios of this story including the issues of Isaac's feelings: "The dilemma here is the fact that the child adopts the parent's perspective as his own." He refers again to Abraham and says, "If he were in fact, only acting out of personal anger or vengeance - perhaps, then, he could be talked out of what he was intending to do. But we should not forget that he understands himself to be carrying out the will of God. He is a true believer, and true believers are not disposed to listen to reason."

I find it strange and devastating what parents can do when they believe that they are doing the will of God. Two of my sisters asked me how I could send our children to a missionary boarding school. I felt they didn't understand. I thought I was doing God's will because we were called to be missionaries and we were being obedient to the Mission and to God. In my deepest understanding at that time, there was no choice. This is what missionaries do. Now, I say this to my shame. I think one of the struggles that some MKs have with healing is that they have, at some level adopted their parent's perspective, even while they have rebelled against it.

I can live with the fact that I was wrong in believing as I did. I cannot deal with the idea that God (a loving God) was actually guiding me or making me send my children away. They felt abandoned by us, their parents, who they loved and trusted. In addition, they were abused. That is just too absurd!

Hope to hear from you again.

Ann Beardslee
 
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